Jesus keeps offering a vision of radical love. But for some reason, we keep shaking our heads and going “No, really. What do you want?”
we keep asking the question hoping for a different answer
All Saints C
by the Rev. Drew Downs
When I went away to seminary, I was excited to learn. There was so much I didn’t know! It was like I finally had access to a library after being stuck on a desert island with the same trashy novel. It was all so exciting, fresh, and new!
Underneath that sensation was a sense of lack—that I lacked a special knowledge about God, primarily. But also the church, the Episcopal tradition, our common story.
Think about that feeling—I’m sure you know it; we all know it—that sense that on the one hand, you know about Jesus. You really have a sense of knowing his deepest why; his wants and ways in the world. We sing his praises and call him Lord of Lords and Prince of Peace. He reveals God is love by loving us.
And yet, at the same time, we carry in our other hand this sense of not knowing enough, not having the whole story, that we aren’t good enough. And if we can’t quote the Bible chapter and verse or the venerable church fathers, we are nothing but lack. An empty hole of inadequacy.
So I was excited because, in light of all I did know and all I did believe, I was looking to eliminate the lack. To be like a God, who, as Peter Rollins says, “lacks the lack.” I was going to fill this head with all of the information. Or push all of the tradition I could find in this ear and stop it coming out the other side.
I foolishly thought I could learn the whole, absolute, singular truth and be done with it. Then I could be a good Christian. Then I would be enough. And what I found was something way, way better…
The full text may be found here.
For a limited time, the audio may be found here.